Radical Hospitality

“You are very welcome.”

A phrase of generosity, care, and warmth, emanating forth from a practice of radical hospitality. It is a phrase that echoes through the space of the Corrymeela Community upon one’s arrival to the beautiful centre, set upon the northern coast of Northern Ireland. Never before have I been present in a place where I have been received with such graciousness by all those who inhabit it. This warm welcome is extended to all those who arrive to the Corrymeela Community, an expression of radical love that envelops us individually and collectively into a deep embrace. In a world where division, separation, marginalization, and oppression are pervasive energies emergent from and in perpetuation of long legacies of violence, there is value beyond words of spaces such as this – spaces of respite, rest, and loving relationship – to offer a (re)connection to hope and the possibility to differently imagine how we can be well together.   

I have the beautiful opportunity to be present with the Corrymeela Community for one year. As yet, I have only been in Northern Ireland for one week. During this time, there has already been great learning regarding history, culture, social dynamics, and more. Amidst the dynamism of transition to a new country, new culture, and new community, I have been resting into practices of listening deeply and being present with all that which I do not know. In my first hours, this unknowing carried with it a strong tinge of unease and anxiety. While the discomfort persists, a very wise person encouraged a different orientation to being in a space of unknowingness. He shared how valuable it is to be new to a place and notice with fresh perspective, as our ability to occupy this space within ourselves and the places we are is fleeting. There is all too often such pressure imposed as to the value of knowing, the reverence for the ‘expert.’ This is by no means to discount the usefulness and necessity of holding a seat of knowing in different moments. Rather, it is to grant appreciation and reverence for the opportunity to be in a seat of unknowing as a rare opportunity to notice differently and observe into dynamics that become obscured through the development of familiarity.

In resting into this seat, I feel the presence of many questions, most of which do not yet have the words to facilitate their expression. These reflections and grapplings around unknowingness have reminded me of the illusion of that which we think we know. At any given point in time, in the unfolding of our experience, any sense of knowingness is in some ways real, and in many other ways, illusory. The terrain of all that which we do not know is infinitely vast. And, even for that which we know or think we know, it is merely one perspective and experience of knowing that exists in the intricate and boundless landscape of life. The human mind seeks to make meaning and provide a sense of coherence in the navigation of this landscape, a necessary process at the intra-personal and collective levels. A question then emerges as to the extent to which it is possible to rest into ambiguity and hold humble reverence for what is unknown. In this, we return to the value of spaces of pause, stillness, and (re)connection to that which sustains us.

At the level of the nervous system, the possibility to rest into ambiguity and unknowingness is most supported when one is in a parasympathetic state. When in a state of sympathetic activation, the so-called ‘fight, flight, or freeze’ state, one’s system prioritizes survival. Binary thinking is characteristic in such a state, as one’s system seeks clarity with regard to threat detection. There is no room for ambiguity, as, if one is under physical attack, this may result in injury or even death. The activation of the sympathetic nervous system in the presence of physical danger is an essential survival mechanism. Challenge emerges when the activation persists after the physical danger has gone, as occurs with trauma. In the process of healing and transforming trauma, individually and collectively, we can shift from binary thinking to hold ambiguity, not as a threat but as a gift of potentiality to live into something new.

Division, separation, marginalization, and oppression are driven by long histories of trauma that persist across generations and accumulate over a lifetime. In seeking to transform the systems that perpetuate these dynamics, it is necessary to enter together into spaces of pause and stillness, offering forth the possibility to move from the ‘either/or’ to the ‘both/and,’ from being against to being with. Such is the revolutionary potentiality held by and in spaces of welcome and radical hospitality.

Wherever you are, know there is great love for you here, know that you are welcome.

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