Unspoken

Listen for the silences. A practice of presence, of listening, of listening differently. An invitation to consider, to feel into, to open toward what is subtle and yet all too apparent if only one shifts the orientation of one’s attention and awareness.

Silences are amazingly full. Quieting oneself, we create the space to dive more deeply into the spaces within us that may rarely be witnessed. Accessing these subtle spaces within, it becomes possible to attune more to the spaces that exist within and across relational lines.

In collective conversations, I find myself inhabiting the practice of listening for the silences, a practice which yields insight before and long after the formal space of the conversation has been brought to a close. Observing how people arrive, interact, and settle – each person arrives carrying their unique experience, held in and expressed through their body. Observing how people sit, speak, listen, and reflect – each person experiences a shared space and conversation in a distinctive way, shaped by their lived experience and the perspectives they carry. Observing how people bid farewell and depart – each person departs with continuing reflections forming a constellation only that individual can hold.  

As individuals meet and interact in shared space, a silence that all too often remains unnamed but echoes with tremendous force, is that of the dynamics of power. These dynamics of power are informal, held and expressed through the bodies and beings present. In this realm of the body politic, how we hold ourselves in relationship with others brings forth a co-creation that risks profound imbalance and harm. This includes those who are not even present, as their absence speaks volumes. Perhaps this presents itself whereby a collective conversation is held with majority or sole presence from men, with few or no women or non-binary individuals. This imbalance in representation may present itself by race, class, sexuality, ethnicity, religion, level of education, and all other aspects of identity. While it may be unrealistic for there to be substantive representation for every facet of identity, silence as to the absences contributes to the continued exclusion of marginalized communities.

From body politic expressed through the presence of individuals in the space, listening for the silences present through the interaction of these individuals also belies embodied power imbalances. For example, a man may sit in a way to take up a lot of space whereby a woman may sit so as to minimize the space she occupies. A white person may speak in a way that is denying of the presence or lived experience of a person of color. A person who is able bodied may be dismissive of or demeaning toward a person who is differently abled, indicated not only through words, but also through tone or posture. The possible harms emergent from imbalances of power are myriad, and the extent of their silence is subjective. To those harmed, these expressions are all too explicit.

Even in the framing of the practice, listening to the silences, the practice must apply – to sense into the dynamics of power that allow for this practice to be a choice or a necessity for survival. For those in positions of less privilege, listening to the silences is necessary to determine the safety of a space and the people in it. For those in positions of greater privilege, listening to the silences is a practice that broadens and deepens the awareness of the power and potential for harm held in a space, and thus opens opportunity for these dynamics to be transformed.

For those for whom listening for the silences is a choice, may you endeavor to listen differently. For those for whom listening for the silences is a necessity, may you inhabit spaces of respite so as to listen as you choose.

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