In the fall of 2018, my dear friend Julie invited me to join a 30-day gratitude practice, connecting with four other women to everyday share three things for which we are grateful in a group text. I greatly enjoyed the practice, as it offered an opportunity to reflect more intentionally on the interactions and activities of my day. Over just a short time, I noticed myself resting more frequently into gratitude and being present to all that I have to be grateful for. Of the five other women sharing their daily gratitudes, I only knew Julie. The others live around the country. While not knowing these women in person, it was lovely to connect in shared practice, to learn about who they are and what they value through what they chose for their three daily gratitudes.
The thirty days passed, and Julie invited us to continue for another 45 days, which I happily did. Then came the new year and a I received a message Julie sent to our group, offering the invitation to join in 365 days of gratitude. Never before had I consciously committed to a yearlong daily practice, but having already established a rhythm of practice in the preceding months, it was an easeful yes to embark upon this journey.
Writing this, we are nearing the 180 day mark of gratitudes. The initial insights and shifts that unfolded from the first thirty days have sustained. The ways in which I orient toward the goings on of my life have shifted substantially, as I rest more fully into gratitude each day. Gratitude has become a space almost to which I default, resting into the gifts of the moment, even when those gifts are situated in times or spaces of anxiety, challenge, and overwhelm. There is another gift this daily gratitude practice has offered, however, one for which I am deeply grateful and on which I have come to reflect very frequently.
In reflecting each evening on the happenings of the day and choosing three things I am grateful for, I began to notice patterns in my gratitude notes. Consistently, one if not all three of my gratitudes is centered on relationship. It is that conversation I had with someone, a friend’s presence in my life, the support someone has provided in a moment of need, or the opportunity to support someone when they are in need. This has led me to reflect upon that which I value most in my life, and that which is most nourishing, namely centering relationship. I now carry a different quality of awareness with regard to the ways in which I share in and inhabit relationships in my life. With a deeper and more conscious appreciation for the sustaining force these relationships carry, I have also been provided with a directionality in terms of what I can move toward when I am feeling disconnected, anxious, and otherwise unwell. Knowing what nourishes me, I find myself being more intentional about cultivating and being deeply present to existing and emerging relationships. Sometimes it is just a momentary crossing of paths, a smile in the hallway. Other times, it is an hours long conversation that traverses vast landscapes of thought and reflection. Each of these embodiments of relationship carries such value, offering the opportunity of engaged presence, of seeing and being seen, of listening and being heard, of sensing and being sensed.
Continuing to navigate this year of gratitude, I have received a gift I did not anticipate, but has been so deeply transformative. I know now what nourishes me. Further, I know what nourishes me is the people with whom I am in relationship. Every evening, I receive the gift of resting into gratitude to and for the people in my life who challenge me, who support me, and who sustain me.
May we all know that for which we are grateful, and may we all have the opportunity to cultivate its presence in our daily practice.
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