The journey of healing is a fractal and spiral shaped practice. In our individual paths of healing, we twist and turn, return and try again, catching ourselves in the process of finding new ways of being with ourselves, with others, with the world. Collectively, these twists and turns are long and slow, shaped by and shaping of the interweaving of our individual healing paths. As these paths encounter one another, they may form a strengthened and deepened trail of connection and care. As these paths encounter one another, there may be disjuncture, wound meeting wound such that harm is enlivened and created amidst attempts toward repair. The journey of healing is a painful process.
Like a stone dropped into a pond creating ripples that extend outward, trauma gives rise to patterns of thought, behavior, and emotion that shape how we are in our bodies and our relationships. It is rare that the surface of a pond is perfectly still, absent of lingering ripples from stones dropped in the past or undisturbed by incoming streams or even the gentlest of breezes. We inherit the patterns of our predecessors, passed down through the generations. We develop patterns through our encounters with others, and through our navigation of this world.
Honoring the constant of change, the journey of healing is not one of achieving perfect stillness. Rather, it is one of finding and returning to a sense of steadiness through the tumult. It is the cultivation of the ability to practice discernment around the patterns that shape our individual and collective bodies. It is the nurturing of the ability to discern and choose helpful perspectives and actions, rather than perpetuating a pattern that may (have) become a source of harm. Part of this process involves presencing to the harms we have incurred, and the harms our hurt may have led us to inflict, as we trace the ripples of our wounding back to their source.
Navigating through conflict and orienting toward healing, we are called to practice noticing. To notice our patterns. To trace their source and their reach. As we seek to develop discernment around and transform our patterns, it is helpful to develop a practice of honoring the little things.
Sometimes we enter into practice. Sometimes the practice enters into us.
These months, I am noticing a pattern in my conversations, variations of a phrase that is written, uttered, read, and heard time and again.
‘it’s the simple things’
‘a practice of small wins’
‘it’s all about the little things’
Noticing this pattern, I become present to the healing and radical practice these words offer.
As we move along the spiral path of healing, our trajectory is shaped by a practice of noticing the little things. We begin to notice and come to know our patterns, how they enact themselves in even the smallest of ways in our thoughts, emotions, behaviors, and relationships. From this noticing, we can begin to shift, to make choices that move us in the direction of healing. These choices, these small wins, are reflective of our discernment, agency, commitment, and supports provided by our communities of care.
A practice of noticing the little things is one of resilience. We come to recognize even the smallest sources of joy, delight, nourishment, and love in our lives that, like stars dotting a night sky, offer illumination through seasons of darkness.
A practice of honoring the little things is one of resistance. It defies a dominant culture that celebrates excess, grandeur, and large leaps of change. Amidst systems that seek to marginalize and dominate, such a practice resists the oppressive cloak of violence and silence, asserting joy and love as sources of and pathways to liberation.
As we journey individually and collectively along spiral and fractal shaped pathways, centering the little things allows us move in harmony with the pace of change itself.
May we come to know and notice our patterns.
May we cultivate discernment.
May we choose ways of being and relating that orient us toward healing.
May we be compassionate with ourselves and others in our individual and collective journeys of healing.
May we experience moments of steadiness and ease.
May we enter a practice of celebrating the little things.
May we allow this practice to enter us.
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